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The human side of business

Small Business

I Just Don’t Have Time For Friends.

June 16, 2015 · By Amy Swift Crosby

One thing I hear small business owners lament is — “I just don’t have time for my friends anymore.” I call B.S.

It may feel like that sometimes – especially in the early years, when you’re overwhelmed, and scheduling and to-do lists seem endless. But that statement isn’t really true, and even if it is, it shouldn’t be.

We all have cycles of production that are hyper-focused, meaning our heads are down and our brains are on-mission in a way that only realistically allows for work, family, a shower here and there, and more work. Everyone gets that — whether they have a 9 – 5 job or are also self-employed. But don’t make the mistake of thinking that people are only valuable if they add to your growth plan. I’ll admit that the less intimate ones may take a backseat – because prioritization takes over and maybe everyone doesn’t make the ‘cut’, as it were. But there’s another phenomenon that happens in this realm — when suddenly you’re “someone” in your field.

I think it’s safe to say we all hope to achieve a level of respect or fame in our respective disciplines – right? It’s not as though anyone expects to make headlines at the WSJ, but you hope to earn a name for yourself after decades of work. That’s reasonable.

But what happens when an old friend reaches out – maybe one who isn’t in the same arena, who doesn’t compare to your list of fans and followers, who hasn’t published a book, started a brand, taken a stage or been on the Today Show? I’ll give you a quiz – see what you answer.

A. Reach back with an opening for tea in the next month (or sincerely explain why schedules are tight).

B. Have an assistant reach back with events or class times you’ll be leading – because along with a few hundred other people – at least you’ll be in the same room!

C. Don’t reach back because you either don’t really feel like making time (or worse, you don’t see them as helpful in your ascent.)

The only good answer here is A, but unfortunately B and C happen all the time.

Let’s not be jerks just because we’ve become ‘very important people.’ It’s gross. Be the same kind of person you aim for as a business owner. Authentic. Sincere. Grounded.

There’s no point in having high ideals in entrepreneurship if they don’t apply to your soul.

Amy

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About Me

photo of Amy Swift Crosby

Amy Swift Crosby is a brand strategist and copywriter who has positioned or voiced messaging across the commercial spectrum, from icons like Ford, BVLGARI, Pottery Barn, Pantene and Virgin, to boutique brands like The Wild Unknown, fitness franchise Barre3 and the rebrand of legendary metaphysical bookstore, Bodhi Tree. She has leveraged this expertise to help entrepreneurial women and small businesses owners hone their skills, mission and message, while uncovering their own “voice.” This blog explores “the human side of business,” and universal themes like uncertainty, anxiety, the tension between engagement and disconnection, personal value and most importantly, of finding - and hearing - our own voices in our everyday life.

Photo - Andrew Stiles

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SMARTY began as a thriving community in Los Angeles and Boston with weekly panel discussions and events designed to better understand the mindset and growth strategies behind successful entrepreneurs. Today, SMARTY is a weekly blog written by Amy Swift Crosby who chronicles her life as a creative, parent, entrepreneur and spiritual seeker. As an urban refugee living in a New England seaside village, she unpacks topics ranging from uncertainty and doubt to the built environment and advertising. More on Amy.

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