• Home
  • About
  • Subscribe
  • Community
  • Contact

SMARTY.

The human side of business

Big Life

Half Me.

June 20, 2017 · By Amy Swift Crosby

@lshawbardsley

Gray areas are familiar territory, but not when it comes to letting people down.

To accept or decline.
To engage or pass.

It’s hard to predict when saying “yes” to something has the unintended consequence of disappointing people who hold you in high esteem. A recent situation had me questioning whether showing up at half-strength… was worse than canceling all together.

Like many of us, I’ve lived in different cities for meaningful periods of time. So when I find myself in my former stomping grounds, I often suffer from “never enough time to…” There’s rarely time to see everyone I want to see, do everything I want to do or be everywhere I want to be – because I’m there for work – which is the priority.

Recently, while on one such over-scheduled trip, I accepted an invitation to attend an intimate gathering organized by a friend; someone who, in kind, supports professional events/gatherings that I sponsor. But when the time came, my eyes were glazed over with fatigue, my voice was raw from talking all day, my brain was drained from problem-solving since 6am (to accommodate east coast time)…and all I wanted to do was turn off my phone and decompress. At the same time, I have always had an almost visceral reaction to flakiness, to a broken word – to disappointing anyone. I didn’t feel I could cancel, especially when I knew my presence was important to my friend.

In the end, I’m not sure that attending was the right decision because the version of me who did show up – kind of sucked. It was a “half me” – with energy more like a wilted flower than an additive contributor.

You have to wonder – who wins in that scenario? I kept a promise – but showed up on fumes. For those of you with an amazing game-face – you can pull this off far better than I can…. as I tend to wear my feelings, for better or worse, right on my face. At a big event, I can get away with it – but among just a few people – it doesn’t go unnoticed. Clearly (I mean I’m writing this, right?) it’s still pulling on my conscience in some way.

I find myself torn between wanting to apologize for lackluster presence – and – wanting a pat on the back for showing up at all.

Is the only option to prequalify a RSVP with, “Maybe, but I’ll be coming off a long day”?

This, and others like it, sound so (very) lame to me, as I judge them all as a half-yes – in other words – an insurance policy on a future copout.

But I can’t think of a better way to demonstrate support and make room for the possibility of yes, but insulate myself from the chagrin of canceling at the last hour and becoming one of “those” people.

This post requires suggestions.

What is your strategy for conundrums like these? Weigh in here. Inquiring minds need your wisdom.

Share this:

  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)

Share

Share
Tweet
Email
Pin
Comment
Previous
Next

Comments Cancel reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.

Topics

  • Small Business
  • Big Life
  • Small Towns
  • Big Brands
  • Popular Posts
  • Uncategorized

About Me

photo of Amy Swift Crosby

Amy Swift Crosby is a brand strategist and copywriter who has positioned or voiced messaging across the commercial spectrum, from icons like Ford, BVLGARI, Pottery Barn, Pantene and Virgin, to boutique brands like The Wild Unknown, fitness franchise Barre3 and the rebrand of legendary metaphysical bookstore, Bodhi Tree. She has leveraged this expertise to help entrepreneurial women and small businesses owners hone their skills, mission and message, while uncovering their own “voice.” This blog explores “the human side of business,” and universal themes like uncertainty, anxiety, the tension between engagement and disconnection, personal value and most importantly, of finding - and hearing - our own voices in our everyday life.

Photo - Andrew Stiles

Subscribe

Get Social

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Twitter

Archives

  • ►2020
    • ►April
      • Company.
    • ►March
      • Connected.
      • This.
      • Uncertainty.
    • ►February
      • Devotion.
    • ►January
      • TBH.
  • ►2019
    • ►October
      • Cadence.
    • ►July
      • Traps.
    • ►May
      • Plot.
    • ►March
      • Answers.
    • ►February
      • Regret.
    • ►January
      • New Year, New...?
  • ►2018
    • ►December
      • Magic.
    • ►October
      • Fearless.
    • ►September
      • Replication.
      • September.
    • ►June
      • Restoration.
      • Tenancy.
    • ►May
      • Narrow.
      • WOTO.
    • ►April
      • Rattled.
      • Lego.
    • ►March
      • CNN.
      • Just.
      • Unfollow.
    • ►February
      • Zerrissenheit.
      • Malls.
      • Eggshells.
      • Hold.
    • ►January
      • Demonstrate.
      • Brrr.
      • Stella.
      • Hello 2018.
  • ►2017
    • ►December
      • Resentment.
      • Dismissed.
      • Waiting.
    • ►November
      • Artificial Deadlines.
      • Regular.
      • Equal.
      • Knowing.
    • ►October
      • Frequent Finish Lines.
      • Copycats Part Deux.
      • Copycats.
      • Contact High.
      • Intentional Tension.
    • ►September
      • Fanship.
      • Clive.
      • Pause.
    • ►July
      • Millennialmania.
      • Colette.
      • Downsellers.
      • Hood Ornaments.
    • ►June
      • Singular.
      • Half Me.
      • Metaphor.
      • Reins.
    • ►May
      • Itches.
      • Blinders.
      • Free.
      • Chemistry.
      • Content.
    • ►April
      • Left Out.
      • Deference.
      • Triggers.
      • The Ask.
    • ►March
      • Room.
      • Generous.
      • Empathy.
      • Descriptions.
    • ►February
      • Teflon.
      • Code.
      • Force.
      • Moves.
    • ►January
      • Rope.
      • Recovery.
      • Out.
      • Belonging.
      • Small.
  • ►2016
    • ►December
      • Resolutions.
      • Work.
      • Idle.
      • Details.
    • ►November
      • Presentation.
      • Editors.
      • Crazy.
      • Tomorrow.
      • ROR.
    • ►October
      • Joy.
      • Words.
      • Machinery.
      • Face Time.
    • ►September
      • Marriott.
      • Bush.
      • Round and Round
      • Maiden Voyages
    • ►August
      • Destination: Procrastination.
      • Age
      • Inspired Conversations
      • The Ten Minutes.
      • Format
    • ►July
      • Attachments.
      • Who gets your best you.
      • Divided.
      • Performance.
    • ►June
      • For the Originators
      • Chief.
      • The Problem with Passion
      • Platforms.
    • ►May
      • Ordinary.
      • Kenny.
      • Over Everything.
      • See Me
      • Conditions
    • ►April
      • Solving Obvious.
      • Wisdom.
      • Happy Faces.
      • Mr.Sullivan
    • ►March
      • Spirit Animals.
      • The Ensemble Life.
      • Tinkering.
      • Badassery.
    • ►February
      • Adaptation.
      • We Hate It When Our Friends become Successful.
      • Alone in the Field.
      • Portraits.
    • ►January
      • The Process Is The Answer.
      • I Can't Believe Anyone Thinks This Still Works.
      • Rebel Rebel.
      • Commitments. The Fourth Kind.
  • ►2015
    • ►December
      • Unscripted
      • Novelty
      • No Pants.
    • ►November
      • Solve If With What.
      • Dualité.
      • Last Days
      • Whatchyou Sayin?
    • ►October
      • Wanna Get Busy (With Me)?
      • Professionals
    • ►September
      • Fluency
    • ►August
      • The Curse of Customization.
      • Is it that hard to…?
      • Misery.
    • ►July
      • Brave.
      • Blind Spots.
      • Bailing or Believing.
      • The Tension.
    • ►June
      • Nobody Likes The Squirrel.
      • I Just Don't Have Time For Friends.
      • Got A Handle?
    • ►May
      • Earned Wisdom
      • The Whole 'Have It All' Thing. 
      • The Dip vs. The Dive
      • The Power of Disengagement
    • ►March
      • It's good to be loved...
    • ►February
      • Apple – User (and Worker) Friendly
    • ►January
      • The Bird Theory

Search

Instagram

Instagram did not return a 200.

About

SMARTY began as a thriving community in Los Angeles and Boston with weekly panel discussions and events designed to better understand the mindset and growth strategies behind successful entrepreneurs. Today, SMARTY is a weekly blog written by Amy Swift Crosby who chronicles her life as a creative, parent, entrepreneur and spiritual seeker. As an urban refugee living in a New England seaside village, she unpacks topics ranging from uncertainty and doubt to the built environment and advertising. More on Amy.

Never Miss a Post

Follow Us

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Twitter

Latest Posts

  • Company.
  • Connected.
  • This.
  • Uncertainty.
  • Devotion.

Copyright 2021 SMARTY.