When you come to the end of it, it’s only because warning fires were shot, conversations were had, ultimatums may even have been given…and things (still) haven’t changed. Ropes are long. They’re braided. They look simple, but they’re a complex weave that hold things together – really heavy things. They can take a lot, but they can’t withstand everything.

Knowing how close you are to the end of a rope is hard to measure, because you don’t know until you’re hanging by a thread typically. We find ourselves there when we haven’t been seen or heard, when too much goes unsaid, when a threshold is on the immediate horizon. And this is where it’s hard to not blame other people or situations, and instead, take one more shot at preserving the thing you’ve built or made together. It may be the final effort you make to save something that seems too painful/cumbersome/dysfunctional to save – it might be a role you’re in, a relationship, a job you do, the impact someone has on you – again and again. The thing is, it’s hard to resuscitate something that’s hanging by a thread. There’s just not enough material there.

If you’re thinking about rope, it’s time to communicate about it. If you haven’t communicated enough, and you’re at the end of it, it’s going to be even harder. So it’s worth knowing early on – am I in “rope” territory? And if so, where am I on it? Middle? Close to the end?

The bad news is that we only tend to think about rope when we’re looking at the end of one. The good news is, ropes are deceptively strong. Take one more step, if you can, to extend yours. You might be surprised by your own resilience, and by how much more there was that you couldn’t see.

Most of us (except the lawyers), think more about how to get “in” to something, than how to get out of it: How to break into a market or industry, how to get into a retailer/venue/distributor, how to get into the right partnership, relationship. How to “enter” is our predominant focus in life (because it’s usually fun), much more than how to “exit” (which is usually hard or at least less inspiring.)

But exits are just as important, and inevitable. Last week The Limited brand announced its plan to close of 250 Limited stores. You can be sure they had a deep, deliberate market penetration strategy decades ago, when they launched, and now are busy forming ways to get out of leases, liquidate merchandise, and disengage or relocate 4,000 employees. This month, some key relationships in my world are coming to a close, because the contract is over – or the reason for being has shifted. It’s strange, and hard sometimes. People and circumstances can leave their imprint on you – financially, philosophically – emotionally. But there’s so much to be learned from endings, if we allow it. The first being that other relationships may be just beginning, and in forming them, we all have to consider “what does the end look like…from ten different angles?” Because, it’s not just a contractual question – it’s a mindset that has to organize itself in a certain way – from day one.

Glory days feel never-ending. But all things change, evolve, morph – or die. Our honesty with that truth actually makes a thing better, for longer, with much more potential to repurpose – should that be possible.

It doesn’t have to be a bummer. It just has to be a plan.

I’ve always thought it really interesting that the same job or role can either be really fun, or painfully lame, according to the people you work with. I’ve done projects that were underpaid or tedious – but for really cool teams or brands– and almost forgot how much fun I wasn’t having on the work itself. You can probably recall a gig you might otherwise have bailed on – were it not for some worthy person (or group) who kept you tethered ‘till the end. It’s even true of where you live – the people (almost always) make the place.

At the heart of why we love – and stay somewhere – is belonging. For those of us who work from home or who are hired guns or talents who drop in, and then drop out, of a company’s ecosystem, it can be a little bit lonely. We don’t get that morning banter or smack talk like you get in an office experience. Our dispersed workforce has made being ‘part’ of something even more precious – as it’s easier than ever to feel silo’d and disconnected (and ironic in this age of hyper-connectivity.) I see people craving togetherness, but who also want autonomy.

As someone who works on-site with clients and/or agencies, as well as from my home office, with teams as new as 8 months and others as long as 15 years, I’ve realized that “belonging” isn’t created by one single thing, or even a constant physical presence.

It’s chemistry. It’s history. It’s having fun. It’s being good at what you (all) do, over and over, month after month, year after year – none of which is always easy. But being a reliable player is worth a lot. We all want those in our midst.

One-night stands are fun sometimes, and I still have them (professionally), but my favorite projects are with people I work with all the time, where there’s rhythm and respect – where we get to do what we do, but with new brands, new problems and different industries. We get to solve stuff… together.

Here’s to LTR’s. And may we do the work it takes to stay in them.

My own team is small, but like many of you, I work with (and for) mid-sized to biggish teams. I often wonder – who is more agile? Flexible? Able to create good work, regularly, and deliver it on time? As a small team, you can only do so much, so fast, at a standard you’d be proud of. So you’d think bigger teams must be able to do more, faster, at a better pace – and deliver wow-factor more regularly – right? I’ve been wondering.

On a biggish team, let’s say 30 people, there’s more room for error/blockage. There may be a bottleneck. Maybe it’s a CEO / president / manager whose contributions, while helpful (or sometimes not), are too focused “in” the business rather than “on” it. Maybe they haven’t set enough vision for what everyone should be working toward, so people have questions…feel rudderless…wonder what their “why” really is at the organization – which creates apathy. Maybe there’s a particular department that hasn’t caught up to technology and how to apply that to smoother, more fluid systems. Maybe it’s one person – one! And that person can’t deliver what needs to be delivered, over and over, but they have a special tenure / relationship / situation that makes it hard to move / remove them.

I think a lot of us who exist in teams of 3-4 people pine for bigger, more, the ability to hire someone to do all the things that don’t get done. And there’s a reality to that – in many cases one more person would plug a lot of leaks. But this idea that bigger is always better, faster, smarter isn’t remotely true as a rule. Your team is as good as the heart and soul of the people on it, as efficient as the systems in place to hold the team together, and the talent behind the work that gets produced and delivered. Those three ingredients, big team/small team/growing team – is the secret sauce.

The bigger the house, the more windows to wash.

The right kind of small is the sweet spot of margins, client load and an intimate, happy culture. Finding it is the challenge.