Archives for November 2015

Solve If With What.

November 23, 2015 · By Amy Swift Crosby

No rational human welcomes the feeling of uncertainty – that uneasy sense that you can’t see around corners or don’t know where a road might lead. Of course recent events make us feel that the world is more unpredictable than ever. But when you depend on yourself for success, financial stability, reputation, life’s work – the mercurial feelings that demand clearer answers exists all the time. Will this idea work? Is this partner right? Why didn’t anyone RSVP? I don’t even know what I don’t know, which means I really don’t know enough. EEEK!

Because we can’t see the future, and because we have to do something as answers are revealed and work performed, here’s my plan (for myself) every time these feelings arise.

I’m going to give – an in giving, try to create a little bit of certainty for another human being. It gets us out of our own way. And offers the very thing we ourselves often crave; Unexpected grace. But I’m not going to just do anything for someone else. I’m going to do something specific – that only I can do. Could be a talent, a connection, a word, a way of seeing something, to someone who needs it.

Here’s what it does: it gives us a little tiny bit of knowing that we moved another human forward toward something they really, really want – with something only you have – and were meant to give to the world. It gets us out of our own way.

In honor of thanksgiving, let’s just give some small (but hugely useful) thing. To someone. Somewhere. Freely.

It’s medicinal.

Small Business

Dualité.

November 17, 2015 · By Amy Swift Crosby

Photo thank you @reyalfashion

On level one, you just want to cry and grieve and do something (anything) to help.
On level two, you have to deliver work for a client.
On level one, you want to let them know you care, that we are connected, that their tragedy is in our hearts and minds.
On level two, you have to make dinner.

What happened in Paris, and what is in the news every day, challenges us to live two lives. In one, we go about our days, having meetings, pitching work, seeing friends, making plans, complaining about resolvable problems.

And that’s normal, right? That’s life. You have to run your business, feed your family, listen to a friend complain about traffic.

I find it really challenging to do all this, while I feel all that.
You can’t be all business. But you can’t be all heart, either. The only, only take-away for any of us can be that these events have a grounding, sobering affect. Stupid sh&t just doesn’t matter.  But a lot of other things just really do.   I hope somehow goodness can prevail.

Small Business

Last Days

November 10, 2015 · By Amy Swift Crosby

Last Days on the boat. See you in nine months.

The last days of anything always feel melancholy. Sometimes it’s as simple as the season – saying goodbye to summer. Other times it’s the end of a partnership, a relationship, a business, a project. But last days have such an important role in the way we punctuate our lives – professionally and privately. Last days mean we are in deep presence and appreciation for what was – what it meant, why it happened. But so much of self-help dogma is about finding silver linings and escaping that uncomfortable edge. Well-meaning friends say, “this is just a transition” or my favorite, “when one door closes….” etc. And we tend to agree with them. But maybe we shouldn’t re-market these themes back to ourselves. Because that’s what they are. Marketing. We are typically selling ourselves out of feeling uncomfortable. But why NOT be a little bit blue about the end? Why NOT sit in that feeling for more than a minute? And why do so many of us feel we need to tell ourselves “I didn’t want that anyway” or “maybe it worked out for the best.” Well maybe it did, but maybe it effing did NOT. Maybe you wanted it really badly but didn’t get it. It’s so easy to talk ourselves out of what’s “hard” because enduring it, being in it, seeing who you are in those dark places is brutal. But is it possible we could come out better for having not pulled the parachute too fast?

Risk can be terrifying. Unknowns can be torture. Relationships can feel unsteady. Work can have curveballs. Confidence can be shaken.

The nausea of vulnerability and change are places we don’t voluntarily dwell. But maybe we don’t have to make that go away so fast. There’s something for us in the rabbit hole, as anyone who has ever had dark, uncertain days can tell you. But we have to be there (and stay there for a minute) to find out.

Small Business

Whatchyou Sayin?

November 3, 2015 · By Amy Swift Crosby

Y Trespassing ou are not for everyone, even if you think you are.
Your customers aren’t all women between the ages of 28 and 42. They’re just not.
Your pricing should be consistent, based on experience, and for certain circumstances, (gasp!) negotiable.
But some things aren’t negotiable, and you should know what they are.

So often we don’t get what we want or what we were expecting because we haven’t been clear.
Sometimes we lack confidence (but don’t want to admit it, even to ourselves.)
Sometimes we don’t know better (and don’t want to admit that either.)
Sometimes our rules, boundaries, pricing, messages, target audience…want to be all things to all people.
Our intentions are good, but not filtered.

I love this sign because it doesn’t mince words.
Could we be clearer in what we say – and what we mean?
Probably.

Might get more of what we want (or at least what we need.)