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SMARTY.

The human side of business

Big Life

Zerrissenheit.

February 27, 2018 · By Amy Swift Crosby

When how it is says everything about how it isn’t.
When clarity obscures, and you can’t see the way.
When even the angst… has angst.

Zerrissenheit (German): Disunity, inner turmoil. Strife.

Whether a feeling is founded or not, useful or not, inner turmoil wreaks havoc. In the moment, the feeling is real, even if it conflicts with our sense of our highest selves, or even with the facts of a situation. It can be hard to rescue yourself.

When deeper worries come up in my own life, and so many of us are plagued with them lately, I’m surprised at how quickly and efficiently fear moves in to take over. The “what if’s” are catastrophic; the possibilities, dark and foreboding. While my exterior remains calm, inside I wonder where all these years of meditation, contemplation, belief…have gone. Shouldn’t I know how to not fall apart like this…by now?! (Read with all the judgment that question intends.)

But what I’ve noticed in myself (and others) is that while a kernel of faith or a regular practice of some type is the long game, it’s not usually what pulls me out of the dark in those moments riddled with acute anxiety. More often, the lifeline that appears in the most immediate sense is a wise being in my midst.

She says something like…

“Yes.
Same here.
I know.
And…”

From here, the path tends to open up – a little light comes in. It’s usually just enough to start to see daylight in what can feel like a narrow hallway with walls closing in.

It isn’t a sign of failure that a long-held faith or other innate wisdom has failed. I can sometimes have a punishing view of this – as in – these are the moments where resilience should appear! Where is that ‘knowing’ when I need it most?

Rather, the embodiment of just the right voice at just the right time can be a living reminder of the potency of genuine human intervention – and a messenger from the very energetic force you’d hoped to tap within. Just because it isn’t coming from you, doesn’t mean it isn’t present.

We’ve all been there.
And will be there again.
Sometimes you’re the wise one; others the lost.

Being one… does not preclude being the other.
Most of us are both.

 

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About Me

photo of Amy Swift Crosby

Amy Swift Crosby is a brand strategist and copywriter who has positioned or voiced messaging across the commercial spectrum, from icons like Ford, BVLGARI, Pottery Barn, Pantene and Virgin, to boutique brands like The Wild Unknown, fitness franchise Barre3 and the rebrand of legendary metaphysical bookstore, Bodhi Tree. She has leveraged this expertise to help entrepreneurial women and small businesses owners hone their skills, mission and message, while uncovering their own “voice.” This blog explores “the human side of business,” and universal themes like uncertainty, anxiety, the tension between engagement and disconnection, personal value and most importantly, of finding - and hearing - our own voices in our everyday life.

Photo - Andrew Stiles

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SMARTY began as a thriving community in Los Angeles and Boston with weekly panel discussions and events designed to better understand the mindset and growth strategies behind successful entrepreneurs. Today, SMARTY is a weekly blog written by Amy Swift Crosby who chronicles her life as a creative, parent, entrepreneur and spiritual seeker. As an urban refugee living in a New England seaside village, she unpacks topics ranging from uncertainty and doubt to the built environment and advertising. More on Amy.

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