The last days of anything always feel melancholy. Sometimes it’s as simple as the season – saying goodbye to summer. Other times it’s the end of a partnership, a relationship, a business, a project. But last days have such an important role in the way we punctuate our lives – professionally and privately. Last days mean we are in deep presence and appreciation for what was – what it meant, why it happened. But so much of self-help dogma is about finding silver linings and escaping that uncomfortable edge.Â Well-meaning friends say, “this is just a transition” or my favorite, “when one door closesâ€¦.” etc. And we tend to agree with them. But maybe we shouldn’t re-market these themes back to ourselves. Because that’s what they are. Marketing. We are typically selling ourselves out of feeling uncomfortable. But why NOT be a little bit blue about the end? Why NOT sit in that feeling for more than a minute? And why do so many of us feel we need to tell ourselves “I didn’t want that anyway” or “maybe it worked out for the best.” Well maybe it did, but maybe it effing did NOT. Maybe you wanted it really badly but didn’t get it. It’s so easy to talk ourselves out of what’s “hard” because enduring it, being in it, seeing who you are in those dark places is brutal. But is it possible we could come out better for having not pulled the parachute too fast?
Risk can be terrifying. Unknowns can be torture. Relationships can feel unsteady. Work can have curveballs. Confidence can be shaken.
The nausea of vulnerability and change are places we don’t voluntarily dwell. But maybe we don’t have to make that go away so fast. There’s something for us in the rabbit hole, as anyone who has ever had dark, uncertain days can tell you. But we have to be there (and stay there for a minute) to find out.