The human side of business

Small Business

Crazy.

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Isn’t it crazy how…
You can show up, but it wasn’t enough.
Put in the time, but it wasn’t enough.
Do more than most, and it wasn’t enough.
Pay attention, or so you thought, but it wasn’t to be.

It’s jarring and unsettling when a distant, almost absurd reality, turns out to be exactly how it really is. Especially when what was imagined felt so bright, hopeful, full of potential.

This happens on grand levels, as it did last week, and on micro levels, in our own lives. You think you’re headed down one road, but those plans or projects downshift, turn the wheel, stop the car. All while you were busy putting gas in it.

And there you are.
How does this happen?
How did it go that way when all signs pointed this way?
It’s a good question.

Usually it means you weren’t listening. Or, only listening to what you wanted to hear. And other times you couldn’t have seen it coming. Either way, the abrupt nature of this stuff is more than hard. It’s brutal.

I’m in a state of openness as to what’s next. My stages of grief have gone from shock, rage, sadness, more fury – and now stillness. The action will come, I’m sure, and the next right thing will show itself. But for now, I’m sitting on the edge. Perched. Watching for signs of life and the next road to take.

Because there will be one. But I know I’ll need to have a little perspective – and distance – in order to see it.

It’s okay to stop, to feel what you feel, to look back before you move forward.
It doesn’t mean you aren’t doing anything. It means this is what you’re doing (for now). Don’t mistake action for answers. Digestion is part of any sincere, complete process.

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  • Today, I got down on my knees and did something I’m slightly ashamed to say… I haven’t done in a very long time. I cleaned all the floors in my house. I scrubbed the corners of the bathrooms, the places that no one sees until they look too closely. I scoured the kitchen, edge to edge. It is a privilege (under normal circumstances) to be able to outsource this work. At the same time, it was on my knees that felt right on this day. On one’s knees there is humility. It’s the way we pray; it’s where we play with our babies, and where we come to understand what vulnerability really means. It’s often where we cry. There’s something about being close to the ground, the earth. The act of lowering our bodies also lowers our walls, our egos, our pride. Once, when I was in India, I saw something that I still think of often. I was sitting in the courtyard of a shrine, an open square surrounded by an ancient wall whose center housed a divine Hindi god. There are hundreds like them. Thousands of people, of all socioeconomic groups, were making their way in and out. The very, very poor – shoeless, toothless, penniless – stood alongside the very rich, with expensive watches and waiting drivers. Some were moving slowly, others in a rush. Worship, in India is a daily devotional practice – a stop on the way to work as much as a holy family outing. I watched as throngs of people poured out of every doorway, walking briskly past the others who had prostrated themselves in front of the structure itself – some, kneeling, noses down, others laid out on their bellies, arms outstretched in supplication. This chaotic scene plays out often there – to the curiosity of Westerners who can’t imagine ourselves face down in our own sacred venues – which might be church for some, or a concert for others. A young man, maybe 20-years old, in his rush to leave, inadvertently stepped on the arm of an elder woman still in the process of worship. With her face down buried into the stone, she most certainly felt the injury – it was the full weight of his body on her frail wrist. But she didn’t move. (Cont. in comments)

About

SMARTY began as a thriving community in Los Angeles and Boston with weekly panel discussions and events designed to better understand the mindset and growth strategies behind successful entrepreneurs. Today, SMARTY is a weekly blog written by Amy Swift Crosby who chronicles her life as a creative, parent, entrepreneur and spiritual seeker. As an urban refugee living in a New England seaside village, she unpacks topics ranging from uncertainty and doubt to the built environment and advertising. More on Amy.

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